Podward

Ah yes here they come, the long dark days of autumn.

One evening I was going out (somewhere, I don't remember where exactly) and I was having one of those 'fight the frumpy middle-aged woman look' moments and dressed myself (I can you know). My daughter - wise beyond her 16 years - carefully considered my ensemble and said 'well you can wear the top or the skirt but not together' There ensued a long session of me getting in and out of clothes so she could help me to present myself to the world in a better arrangement. Eventually we did collectively decide on an outfit that suited her stringent standards of mother-dressing and my need to be off the homespun track. And then she said 'the trouble with you is that you try to look bohemian but it doesn't always work'.

So what to wear this evening.......better ask Nance. It isn't her name, I just call her that!

Names are funny aren't they. I hated my name when I was growing up because it was unusual. Everyone else seemed to be called ordinary names you could spell easy. Now I like my name because it's unusual!

I collected a beautiful conker today which was shaped like a heart. If I was in love I could give it to my beau, kind of 'I heart you' but as 'I conker you' - guess that's much the same thing really!

I have a horse chestnut tree in a pot on the patio. It's only small, about 5ft, and the leaves are just turning a delicious glorious yellow.........

............to brighten up the dark days of autumn

Well what would you really expect to find behind a fairy door...a fairy of course, tch....

I 've broken my sister's rowing machine.

Wednesday is my day off and boy do I try to cram a lot into it.

I set myself a 12 point plan for the day and I still haven't done all the stuff. I've terrified myself completely by sorting out the insurance for the scooter and now I have got to pass the CBT in 6 weeks or else. Or else what I don't know. Daniel, the young man selling me the insurance was very helpful though - thank you Daniel if you're out there! - and sooooo patient with this dippy middle-aged crazy-haired noodle. Ooo that reminds me, we still haven't had the chicken noodles, tomorrow perhaps.

Just had to spend a bit of time with my sister rehearsing a a song for a social evening on Friday. It's a few years since our little singing group disbanded and I haven't sung in public much since. Actually I haven't sung at all. I love singing but I get dreadfully nervous so I think a few glasses of something or other is called for.

It sounded fine though just now!

Now, here's one..........what's behind the fairy door

A prize for the best guess.

It's apparently going to be windy this week. Hence the title of post. I am not paticularly vain about my appearance but wind plays havoc with my hair. I am not blessed with hair that falls naturally back into place and end up looking not unlike this. Only the hair part obviously, I don't sport a fishy tail, well not such an ostentatious one. As you can imagine it's hard work getting through doorways on very windy days.

What is the purpose and function of a triangulation station. Why that popped into my head I really don't know but since it just did can someone tell me what it's all about.

Ooooh gosh it's nearly 11 and I am sooooooooo tired I must get sleep.

This is a great poem and has very little to do with what I was going to say but as I had to come up with a title for the post and this sprang to mind. And it is coming close to Armistice and all that so........

I. NAMING OF PARTS by Henry Reed

They call it easing the Spring: it is perfectly easy
If you have any strength in your thumb: like the bolt,
And the breech, and the cocking-piece, and the point of balance,
Which in our case we have not got; and the almond-blossom
Silent in all of the gardens and the bees going backwards and forwards,
For to-day we have naming of parts.

Anyhow, what I was going to say was....wait for it wait for it.......it'll be good when it comes....doubtful, very doubtful, haha

If 2003 UB313 had to have a proper name why couldn't it be something a bit more relevantly cultural. These soppy historical names are all very well but poor Uranus or Urbottom, or whatever, is just a laughing stock because of it's silly name. How about a good macho name like John Wayne or Terminator (maybe not!).

Now this would be quite cool, after having named chocolate bars after solar system objects how about naming solar system objects after chocolate bars and call the darn thing Crunchie.

So what would you call it. Please be as original in your suggestions as possible, I want to see some imagination and effort put into this!!

I said I would bring something more cheerful to the table later and here we go.

On my way home there is a garden I pass that has a most interesting tree. It has a series of little growths around the base. They are arranged in such a way that they look like male members, in joyful state, with attendant ball shapes. There are about 3 sets of paraphenalia, a tree with 3 dicks! They are a bit on the small side but as there are 3 of them I guess that kind of compensates.

Made me a smile............

I don't go into work until 12 today so I am having a slow morning - not!

So far I have hung out one load of washing and put another load in, I have adjusted the rowing machine so I can use it and managed ten minutes of breakfast news rowing (have to build up slow!) followed by two happy songs worth of exercise bike followed by a most refreshing shower.

So I made myself a cup of coffee, grabbed a biscuit and sat here to catch up. I started off by reading a poem on another blog which made me cry which is a bad start to a Monday isn't it. Now I feel very sad and my mouth is down at the corners - great(heavy irony employed).

Even listening to my Happy Songs CD isn't helping much. How self-indulgent this is when I have so little to complain about.

Stern talking-to needed methinks 'Right missis - pull yourself together you silly bi...person'

Coffee over, now must do hoovering. I wanted to do that yesterday and suddenly realised that the Dyson had gone for a short holiday to my son's flat as they don't have a hoover yet. And he had gone off to the Tate Modern for the day! One of life's little ironies really. I would have loved toddling off to the Tate Anything for the day and he loathes 'art' and I was stuck at home unable to do the hoovering because he had the machine locked up in his flat. Tch, no wonder I feel glum.

I shall try to cheer up before I return.......I'll do my best to find something weird or wonderful to bring to the table later .........promise!

Picked, cut and eaten. Yum yum.

I have another one growing now, about the size of a walnut so far...........

A Handful of Sand

I am holding you like a handful of sand
In the shoreline of my memory
Each day losing a few more grains of you
Unrelenting tides take back what I can’t hold
A limitless ocean of ebb and loss
Draws you ever further from my life
If I close my hand I grasp nothing
So, powerless, I watch you trickle away

Actually as far as the party aspect of after-show parties goes it wasn't really much 'partay'. And I didn't get in much after midnight, in fact according to my mobile it was 0.00 but of course as my daughter regularly tells me mobile phone clocks are notoriously slow. One of her favourite sayings. I had a couple of glasses of wine and some bread and cheese last night which of course meant I dreamt a lot and some it quite x rated. I some times eat cheese later in the night because the chances are you get some vivid dreams in and that way it's like watching a film while you are asleep without expending any effort and the plot will always be original.

Excellent news - the return of QI on the 30th. My girlie and I love this sooooooooo much. I have the theme tune on the computer because I like that bit too! I guess it's my idea of good TV - interesting information with wit and humour. (Is this real-life too, Rick!) You can keep Big Brother and East Enders, just give me a few hours of QI and I'm quite happy.

Ah no, I just noticed that it's after the midday marker and I'm still in PJ's.....BUT.....I have done the kitchen. I had to really because we had run out of cat dishes and teaspoons. I even got rid of the piles of decaying fruit. My husband keeps buying fruit because he wants to eat healthily and every week I have to tip two thirds of it into the compost bin. Expensive compost. I can't eat many kinds of fruit because of allergies and stuff so it is very sad. Fruit is so beautiful.

Anyhow now I've finished my coffee I must get on, get dressed and blitz the rest of the house..........

Tch, it's a bit of an exageration to refer to myself as a lady!!

When my baby was clearing out her cupboards to change rooms she turned out a hat she made in 'textiles' - a lesson that equates to 'needlework' from my own era - it is quite a nice hat and as it is soon going to be winter I thought I would adopt it. It isn't like I need a hat though, I have enough hair to keep several bald gentlemen cosy and warm all winter. Anyway here's a piccie of person in hat......

Good news - I have finally got round to getting my sisters rowing machine off her. She can't use it anymore because it hurts her back and I loved my rowing machine so much that when I broke my mine (for the fourth time!) she offered me hers to give house room to. The first three times I broke my machine it was fixable but on the fourth occasion an integral part of the machine sheared off and couldn't be fixed. This may lead you to think I am some kind of super-strength, superhuman - not so, sadly. I like to row and watch Corrie - I have a slight problem with just watching Tv without anything else on the go.

You learn to juggle several things at a time when you have children and it's hard to unlearn especially when there are so many things to do. I don't mean boring stuff, I mean fun/creative/interesting stuff and I try to fit in as much as I can. I am hoping to start on my Chrissie card epic - I like to make my own and I need about 120 and there aren't that many days left before Christmas so that's more than one a day.

We shopped this morning, we have a matinee this afternoon followed by fish and chips followed by the final performance followed by the 'get-out' followed by hurrah hurrah the after-show party. This will undoubtedly, hopefully, be followed by much sleep........

So I have to go get organised..........BFN

And here's a special Friday moment for everyone but especially Helly....

Oh knickers I just noticed it's raining....

That means my baby will get all damp and soggy after college and that means she will be significantly less buoyant than usual and that means I have to work extra hard at cheering her up when she gets in.

Fortunately I have had the foresight to purchase a bag of mini jaffa cakes to off-set the grumps.

Of course if she doesn't get home in time for all of Neighbours there will be even more dejection. And she is helping me backstage.

However, to say thank you, I am treating her to a morning of retail therapy tomorrow!!

I can spoil her thoroughly this week as we have packed her father off to the conference for a whole week. We can watch drivel and sit on the settee and paint our toenails and stuff ourselves with chocolate and eat what we want and sit in front of the TV and eat it and.....

Anyone would think I was looking forward to his absence...

It was the first night tonight and everything went off ok. I had all the right people in all the right places, all the right effects in all the right places and all the scene changes were effected without mishap. Does this fill me with a sense of satisfaction and a job well done? Should do I guess...

It's funny this old lark you know. I started doing this stuff when I was sixteen, and I do both acting and backstage (I'm not a Prima Donna). In the early days I was quite starry-eyed and got caught up in the magic of the 'run' and after it was over and the adrenalin rush gone it was always a huge anti-climax. These days I don't get starry-eyed and by the time it gets to the 'run' I'm usually knackered and can't wait for an evening in to just sit and watch TV. But I wouldn't stop, I've been doing it too long, and the adrenalin rush is terribly addictive. Besides which I am so attention seeking I need a spotlight on me now and then. I do miss the pub visits though. When I first started everyone went to the pub afterwards, staying until we were kicked out. But then I had children and they got involved as well and a responsible parent isn't going to take babes to pubs on a school night are they! And people have changed a bit anyway, they just want to go home and it all feels kind of flat. I feel flat now - mind you I said that in an earlier post!

I have this nasty suspicion that age is creeping up on me!

Ah...........poo.

I really need something good........it could be a.........or a.....or even a.........but no, come here my golden wrappered friend, you know you want to.

~@@~
#

It's only 93 days until Christmas!

I'm making a list.......

Elephant woke at the foot of the stairs
Rubbing his poor aching head
"I shouldn't have gone off to play all alone
Should've stayed in with mousie instead"

I do, don't know why........I just feel kind of flat and sparkle-less. I don't like to give the impression though that I am usually sparkle-full!! I had a nice day which is of course one of the things that makes me feel dull on a Wednesday. If I have a nice Wednesday off I don't feel like going to work on a Thursday because then it's another two days until the weekend. I am extraordinarily lucky in having a day off in the middle of the week anyway - I shouldn't complain.

I went with my parents to visit Batemans. Unfortunately there was a party of male children in school uniforms but my poor mother hates children and we had to keep one step ahead of them all the time. They were only about eight or nine and quite sweet really but then I am not so anti-children. Although I must admit that I don't like to see children behaving as badly as so many seem to do these days. One of my pet hates is when I see children in trolleys in the supermarkets being fed food that has not yet been purchased and the parents think this is perfectly acceptable because they duly hand over the barcode to pay at the end. Why can't the child wait a short while - this is, as far as I'm concerned, a case of bad parenting or at least lazy parenting. Give in to them it's so much easier but in the end you end up with selfish little brats who want what they want NOW.

Ooooh I am grumpy aren't I, and I have spilt phish food ice cream on my hoodie sleeves - still I suppose I could suck it off! It's one of those garments you wish you had bought at least 3 or 4 of because they are comfy but when you go back for another they have sold out. Tch.

Better get rea..........................

Virgo

Think we might have foxed the badgers – haha see what I did there, I used another animal, see, fox, badger…… I am well renowned for my feeble attempts at wit…….that is not to say that I am feeble-witted….well maybe I am. Any hoo, back to the badgers. It was getting sooo ridiculous, every morning we were going out and having to re-lay more than half of a 16 x 13 foot lawn. Enough is ENOUGH I said. So off to B& Q who kindly supplied us with a square net (which covers 90%) – when I say they supplied it, we did have to pay them for it obviously. And the last two mornings running? No relaying of turf woohoo!

Crunchie headline news...I bought a sandwich and bottle of water for my lunch and if I had chosen a different sandwich with a bottle of sugary gas (I don’t drink sugary gas if I can help it as I like water) I could have had a free crunchie – how do I live with ‘what might have been’, Helly I’m so, so sorry.

I was just talking to my husband and realised that he had actually left the house. Don’t you feel so silly when that happens?

I got a book yesterday from one of the many book club things that come to our work. It is just recipes using a few ingredients and one of them is chocolate and pistachio brioche sandwiches. Just thick slices of brioche with lashings of chocolate spread and crushed pistachio. MMMMMMMM very naughty.

Does it sound a little like a food obsession – hm time for a stint on the exercise bike methinks. It’s kind of like the whole cold shower thing when thinking too many horny thoughts! Think about food – have sesh on the bike.

I don’t think I ever deliberately had a cold shower but mentioning showers reminded of when I went to Edinburgh. There was a shower in the student flat we were sharing which was fantastic. BUT one morning I turned the wrong knob (story of my life!) and turned the temp gauge to very, very hot. Now one of my other handicaps apart from being feeble-witted is extreme myopia, so I couldn’t see the dial. Panic, heat , extreme heat, more panic until eventually sorted dial by trial (hey - small pome) and error and emerged from shower with an extraordinarily rosy glow all over my front. Ah, I can look back on it now and chuckle ………

Tall tale

The elephant skipped to the top of the stairs
Swinging his long grey trunk
He caught his foot on the very top step
And descended, clunk, clunk, clunk

I am sooooooooooooo glad to be home again. We had our get-in today (which means installing ourselves and the set in the performance venue - I'm sure you all knew that!). The set is built but not quite completed and we had a rehearsal which was unbelievably bad. I am supposed to be stage-managing but there was no prompt so I had to do that too. Sounds easy? - no way, as the main male character actually knows only 1 out of every 10 lines so needs almost every line fed to him (and then doesn't recognise them as his own!). Added to which there are 5 scene changes and various effects to organise which I tried to handle without throwing things and stamping on people all at the same time as having my nose glued to the script - very difficult! It probably doesn't sound that bad..... BUT IT WAS.

But - I am home now and slowly returning to my normal state of serenity and calm with a cup of tea. I don't have an evening in again now until next week so I shall have very big stare-y eyes and a wild harassed look (and I at my age that won't be a good look) by the week end.

Ah now I have that off my chest...........the other day I looked down and found a crane fly mountaineering my left chest but that is also off my chest, haha. When I say mountaineering that is unnecessarily boastful and largely inaccurate, it's more like hill-walking!

You see now how fey and relaxed I am since sipping my tea (Tesco Fair Trade) that I have started talking body parts. Think I should stop here and go in search of a marmite sandwich...........

it's turned a little CRisp and aUtumNal espeCially in tHe mornIngs and Evenings. i had to put three layers on this morning and i was still cold.

i Collected my fiRst conker jUst yesterday, all New and the Colour of milk cHocolate and Its compEting for droolies with the fine box of truffles my cats bought me. to be honest i wouldn't trust my Cats to choose tRUffles well. i thiNk they would spend the CasH on felIx and frEsh fish.

although, katie does have a penChant for Rice pUdding and paiN au CHocolat - no word of a lIE! i suspect they possibly had help Choosing. and the wRapping woUld have beeN well Complicated witHout opposable thumbs and tyIng thE knots - impossible.

oops i think i may have mentioned chocolate too often again (but at least i didn't mention the 'c' word, helly)

Some interesting stuff and some more interesting stuff..............

Ecstacy....

Well I had a nice day yesterday - ok so there were no big parties, pampering or putting my feet up but my idea of a good birthday is one when I get through the day without major stress and incident. And yes I've had birthdays like that. I had cards and messages and presents from lots of lovely people and didn't have time to miss the one that wasn't there. There was an awkward bit when the card they all signed at work got lost and didn't turn up until after I'd gone and a colleague called round after work to drop it in very apologetically. And there was a wonderfully bemused look on so many faces when I said I had got a little wooden train set as a present, especially my little sister's aghast face when we showed it to her. There was a very sweet moment when my boss shyly gave me a kiss and sang Happy Birthday. And I had a lovely Crunchie moment and I have two boxes of chocolates still to droooooooooool over. I didn't see my boy but he had a 13 hour shift and should be visiting this morning instead - but as it's his girlfriends mother's birthday today it will be a flying visit. Boys will be boys and he did send a text yesterday so I have no complaints. My girlie though is the one who quietly organises my birthday and I spent so little time with her really that I must make up some time. Aw now this getting maudlin and sentimental now.

The sun, she shines and the sky is blue
And now I know not what to do.....

Dark Lane

The moon in shimmering white
Sweeping with mysterious grace
Her cobweb veil of night cloud
Across her luminescent face

And the moon steals from puddles
Her shining cloak of silver lace
The lane in darkened shadows
Is full of silence and black space

As this is loading so slow tonight I am just going to write a bit of drivel and catch up with reading tomorrow, so I haven't forgotten you all!

I have been so busy! My special boss (well they all are really but this one's my double boss i.e he employs me twice) is interviewing and he likes to have me sit in and give my oh so valuable opinion. It's no problem and I enjoy it but it is time heavy so my days are packed with stuff end to end at the moment what with rehearsals in the evening and it's MY BIRTHDAY tomorrow so I have got to take cakes all over the place. I think I'll book in a sit down in October sometime where there might be a small window. I don't know if anyone noticed me slip in the fact that is MY BIRTHDAY tomorrow - I don't suppose so and that's good because I don't want a fuss.........

I guess you're all eager for news about my melon..it's fine but since the weather cooled it's growth has slowed a little so I won't be having it for supper on MY BIRTHDAY tomorrow. And the lawn is looking great, well green anyway which is good. The badgers obviously are well impressed because already they have tried to look underneath and see how it is bedded down. However as it has rained all day I haven't been up to snap it with the ole camera (Sony P72 for those with camera interest) so you will all have to wait, and yes I can hear the restless fidgeting. I think it is possible I may purchase a Crunchie tomorrow as it's MY BIRTHDAY - hope you haven't eaten them all Helly!

Yesterday I bought an 'Abraham Darby' bush rose which is sitting in the room with me and it has a very powerful scent. I aim to plant it near my new lawn but as it is covered with blooms at the moment I kept it in the house for a bit so I could overdose on the scent.

Well I think that's enough drivel for tonight and I must get some beauty sleep - don't want to look too tired on MY BIRTHDAY!

Murphy's Oil Soap is the chemical most commonly used to clean elephants.

For other useful info....

That is a rubbish title for this post innit, but true. I selected a plain grey top to match the plain grey day.

First things first - 'Are there any ladies living in the Bexhill area who are keen to try out Morris Dancing. We are a newly formed side called Bexhill Chalyce and desperately in need of increase in numbers having had a few casualties - no, no, not injuries, new jobs and commitments and stuff like that.'

Which reminds me I still haven't got me sticks organised, tsk, tsk. I am a procrastinator par excellence. When I was a baby I didn't get off my wobbly behind and start walking until way after most of my contempories - ironic since these days I probably walk more than most of them!

Which reminds me I was dwelling recently on how ones view of something can change so quickly. I walk along a busy main road to work. And for years I have not thought of this walk in particularly inspiring terms. After passing the the very fine and beautiful conker trees near my road the walk is just road, road, road with no eye treats. But this year two aquaintances have told me that they see me walking along. One taps on his window at work (too far away for me to hear!) and the other drives past. It made feel that I belong to my surroundings and I am part of the fabric of other peoples lives. I have, since then, enjoyed my walk far more!

Which reminds me..........hey I should have called this post 'which reminds me' - dur. My excuse is that its early and I haven't quite woke up and I am trying to get my head round a busy day

I turned over a bucket
All damp and earthy inside
And out fell
A fat plop of a frog
With a soft sticky thud.

He lay there
Dazed and blinking
Eyes adjusting slowly
To the light

Then he looked up
And with a voice
Loaded with irony
Said ‘thank you –
That’s just great’

Kitty and Josephine

..about The Ashes

I thought I should explain the number 52 attached to my email address and login. Earlier this year I woke up in the morning feeling that the number 52 was going to be really, really significant. It was one of those strange moments that you have or at least I do when something seems deeply meaningful. Anyway it didn't seem to feature in my life with any significance whatsoever and I couldn't find any purpose for the number 52 but couldn't shake off this feeling about it either. So now and then if I need a number I use 52. And I also found this...........

http://www.wisdomportal.com/Numbers/52.html

Anyone else have any funny feelings about a number. Or am I doolally, and how do you spell doollally anyway.......

Well for a few whiles at least. Part of my new regime to improve my job satisfaction level is to have more flexi hours so today I don't have to be in until 12 which gives me couple of hours at home without my housemates (ie husband, daughter, that sort of thing). The cats are always a bit confused if I am around at this time because they like to party when we are out. The other day when I was in at the wrong time I thought I would put the time to good use by practising my piano accordion but Katie (girl cat - five years - very soppy) walked around behind me howling so I put that down and picked up a recorder instead which she then tried to take out of my hands. She is clearly a music lover - I cannot play either of these instruments. Mind you both the cats are in bad books at the moment. Katie woke me up at 6.30 with that all too familiar regurgitation noise accompanied by disgusting deposit on landing carpet and Sylvester (boy cat- nine years - very blokeish) annoyed me yesterday by running through the kitchen several times, while I was making pastry, with a bird dangling from his mouth.

I am just enjoying a blog and coffee before tackling something a little more whatever. There were some Mr Kipling cakes left over from yesterday , chocolate, exceedingly good, especially with coffee.

I haven't been idle though this morning I have done 3 tracks of Status Quo's worth on the exercise bike in addition to walking my girlie to the bus stop. Why did the bus have to be nearly ten minutes late on her first morning at college? - like she isn't nervous enough!

Ah well - housework calls,..............or piano accordion - here we go Katie...

And I didn't get a pic of my new lawn yet, sorry. It hasn't really been that good weatherwise today, it hasn't actually rained but it has been dull and I want to take a pic of it with sunshine on. So to make up for lack of lawn photo I have here a picture of my sisters melons.....

Rather nice aren't they!

I go for a walk on Sunday afternoons to clear my head, and maybe write, and feed my friend the robin, and just generally BE. I go to a park that has many, many associations both glad and sad. There is a bed of yellow roses that smell like floating on perfume clouds and I put my nose in them and inhale - which makes me go all tingly! Today I found a perfect bud that had got snicked off and it lay on the grass. It had one perfect crystal dew drop just inside like a single tear. It was absolute perfection.

And I felt it was a marker of hope....ooooooh I am such a soppy cow. But it is sitting right by me now and still looks so beautiful........

Autumn Leaf

A leaf, brown and dry
Caught by the breeze
Plays tag with passing feet

Mother Tree watches
And points tired fingers
Every which way

Left Behind

He walked with gentle footsteps
Through the chaos of my mind
And with softly trailing fingers
Left an echo here behind

They are! Just got back from seeing 'The Meat Loaf Story'. Third time in as many years. We were right next to the speaker this time, wowowowo my head hurts. My girlie loves it and so do I but she is younger than me and boy can she move. At the end everyone gets up and dances and screams along to Bat Out of Hell which as any Meat Loaf devotees will know is a long track to scream along to. I'm now not only deaf I'm a little horse, sorry hoarse.

This is a piccy of me shaking my............new jeans with an embroidered buttefly on... and you thought I was going to say r's.

And tomorrow I shall try and get a picture of my new lawn which was put down today...woo woo. It has only taken about 18 months for me to have the idea become a reality. I have absolutely no patience so you can imagine how difficult this waiting time has been for me!!

Anyways I think it's time for snoozies........

Oh cool I just worked out how to do that - ok so I take a while to do stuff, I'm a bit SLOW ok.

But what a groovy thing to spend a few minutes on...........

Let the madness begin....

They aren't quite ready yet but this poor fellow was lying crushed and sad by the road so I rescued it............

Jeez I really hate all the in depth emotional stuff sometimes. You know, the 'where is our relationship going' bit. I feel like I have been in churned-up mode so long I can't remember if there was anything else before it. For most of my adult life I have been torn apart by feelings of guilt and inadequacy. Not being a good enough daughter, wife, sister, friend. Mind you I have been a good mother - my two little dumplings have never made me feel inadequate, maybe it's because they are kids and accept me as I am. The last five years have been a strain on my brain, I tell you. I wasn't made for deep stuff really - I am a butterfly - I am shallow and fickle - I am what I am. I feel sometimes like I am a plant growing under glass but I've reached the limits and now the glass is holding me back, retarding my growth, and I am being stunted and warped. Guess it's just my age, huh, my mid-life crisis. Well it just sucks.

And now I've got that off my chest I must go check on the Banana loaf that's in the oven..............

Today held for me the enormous excitement of my appraisal - ok so I'm being a touch sarcastic. It started well with my appraisor saying 'I don't think you are getting much job satisfaction at the moment'. Too right! So...........The trouble with work is that it is work and what I really want to do is something different each week. And of course more money with less work would be good too. No..........to be honest I don't really feel disgruntled, well 75% percent of the time I don't. The other 25% is the bit when I feel disgruntled about everything in life. And I do love my bosses, they are sooooooo cuddly and sweet. So there we go I have just talked myself out of feeling gloomy.

I don't feel too gloomy about anything right now although the odd sad pocket pops up now and then. There are a lot of positive things around and soon the conkers will be all over the place too. I just luuurve conkers, I collected about 30 in one go last year on my way home just so I could look at them in a dish. Some of my colleagues being aware of my conker fetish have in the past brought contributions in to work for me....aw sweet. Do they think I'm loopy do you think? Brown and shiny and smooth like a good milk chocolate....

Green and Blacks make chocolate
Exquisite as a dream
I thought life couldn't be improved
But now they've made ice cream

Had to slip that in - I realise that I do mention chocolate quite a bit.....mmm could be time to contact CA.

Salad anyone?

Latest melon picture.......

Ain't it cute!

How cool is this!
I went to work for an hour and came home again. Why? Because the computers are off. So I am having an unexpected feet up seesion with a nice mug of coffee and a crunchie (Thank Crunchie it's Friday) and a little bit of blog of course.

I started writing this a couple of months ago and never seem quite able to finish......

Ode to a Crunchie

Good chocolate’s orgasmic no doubt about that
Okay, fair enough, too much can make you fat

Come on and add your own ending, I dare you.

I've got an hour or two to just potter before I have to go back for a meeting and having the house to myself is glorious. Well what would YOU do with a free hour?

BOO!

Ha ha that surprised yer!

I did some really nice potato wedges tonight, garlic and herbs with fresh rosemary. Now rosemary is one herb I always seem to have plenty of although at the moment I also have glut of fennel seeds - anyone got a nice recipe using fennel seeds? I can still smell the rosemary on my skin mmmmmmmmmm. A 'short' on a related topic.....

Flower Bed Chums

Lavender and Rue by disposition
Will tolerate juxtaposition

Smells - whats your favourite. I think my favourite is probably freesia with honeysuckle and roses running a very close second and all three in a vase and I'd be writhing on the floor in ecstacy. One smell I don't like is cream. I love eating cream - well not so much now really but I used to. And then I was in this play where I had to eat a cream bun and make a mess so I got it in my hair and all over my face and the smell of it as it got stale under the stage lights was gross. I haven't been so keen on cream since then. Oh and morning breath is pretty loathsome.

This is starting look like a possibility after a colleague said she will give me some help and advice with my scooter...

It is so cool that so many people gave the sci fi thing a go - but still no Han.....he's out there somewhere

I have just drifted around today not really doing much but as it is my day off I guess that is kind of ok but hey no it isn't when there is so much I could have done. So what have i actually done

a) Helped daughter with painting her new bedroom (horizontal stripes in lilac shades - much masking tape palaver - and it was crap masking tape which kept falling off the walls as soon as the paint got near it)

b) Took a few nice pics and filmed a spider knitting a web - well groovy. The pic of the apples that I posted I was going to say underneath 'nice cox' but wasn't sure if that sounded a bit rude..

c) Went to the shop to buy chocolate digestives - all gone now

d) Fifteen minutes on exercise bike to work off excess biscuit consumption to the accompaniment of Shaggy and P Diddy. I find that it is necessary to give my arms something to do as well so I get two tins of baked beans and pump with them while I ride - I must look mad!

e) Blogged a bit - compulsive habit

f) Finally got round to writing my 'about the author' bit to go off with my manuscript. Had space for 200 words but could only think of 67!

Ah well, looks like I did a few things then....

So come on give this a try - which character are you?

http://www.tk421.net/character/

I was Princess Leia, and yes I can see the strong resemblance...I'm short and bossy with odd hair..........and I droooooooooool over Han Solo.

............any Han's out there.....?

The other evening my sister showed me her melons and they are whopping great things compared to my little 'peach'. They must be at least a 'C' cup and she's got 5!! I now have a serious case of melon envy.

I have achieved at least 3 things at work today which is good and at last nights management meeting I actually stayed alert for a good 5 minutes or so, this is quite impressive for me. I usually spend the time studying peoples hands and body language. If I could draw well I could easily draw the guys' hands from memory. I love life drawing but don't do enough of it so I haven't mastered hands yet, or faces which is why the nude in my pictures gallery has no face or hands. It has surprised me how many men are NOT keen to pose nude for me, maybe it's the manic look in my eyes, huh.

I have to go to Morris tonight and I still haven't got round to getting me sticks organised - story of my life. When I am called to meet my maker and the holy one says have you done this, this and this, I won't have and I'll be sent back to have detention.
All I have to do is to get two yard long sticks and two half-yard long sticks and you would think that after 3 months I could have done that by now.

But then I still have my scooter sitting in the garage where it has been since May. Unregistered, unlicensed and I am no nearer riding the blasted thing. The problem is that after 16 years of marriage I am making a desperate bid to regain a bit of my long lost independence so I want to do it all by myself. And of course I don't really know where to start. I need a good kick up the pants. I sound so pathetic, I mean I look at what other women my age have achieved in their lives and feel so dumb.

And have I got any further with learning to play the piano accordion - no!..............

Here it is at last with its tassels on...

2 inches wide and 2 inches short of ten feet long and selling for a fiver! Just finished knitting another but that hasn't got its tassels yet. Ho hum.

I'm sorry but why is the farmer in the Weetabix advert feeding the corn to the scarecrow?

Good - I have printed out my manuscript - I have measured my melon - I have marked out where to put my rose poles - I have prepared my website updates. Woo woo not bad for a Sunday morning! Time for a coffee? I think soooooooooo.............

I

I sit at the window watching the sunlight

You are a million light beams away

II

The bubble rose

In a heart’s beat

III

The links ripple softly

Twinkle with memories

Actually I do!
Well obviously not all the time but I have been out every night this week and this is a very welcome night in. I have been so busy this week, its all going on. For the life of me I can't think what keeps me so busy - just stuff I guess. Since my boy has moved out my girlie wants to redecorate and move into his bedroom which is a bit of busy. Plus we have finally found someone to do the top end (of the garden) for under five hundred quid so I have been getting that tidied up and planning what to do with the final section of unstructured land. This last little pocket of the garden is about 12' x 24' and I think I want to put in a circular lawn just for fun. Another bit of busy. On top of that there is work, dancing and stage managing. More busy. I am trying also to get my website updated - www.jojoturnbull.co.uk - and trying to produce my manuscript to send off for publishing. Busy, busy. And trying to finish off some scarves. And soon I will start wanting to make some Chrissie cards. And.....the list goes on. It is good to keep plenty in hand to do as it cuts down time for dwelling on stuff that doesn't want dwelling on, especially today of all days.
Let's not not go there, let's have a bit of perspective, let's have some melon.........

This is me with mad hair and melons - ok I only have one growing in the greenhouse but that would have looked lopsided! I ate a whole plastic box full of melon slices yesterday which would have been so much better if I hadn't accompanied it with two home-made choccie biccies and two squares of mint crisp dairy milk. I daren't do a Bridget Jones style daily calorie counter!! I haven't even started reading my New Scientist yet and its been sitting by the bed for two days waiting to improve my mind. To be honest I don't think there is much hope for improvement, I was made silly and if I suddenly start to make sense..........My girlie is watching Thin Blue Line and I do think Mark Addy is cute......what did I tell, silly, silly, silly...

And to finish with a silly pome or two..

Animal Bites I

Monkeys take ages
To clean their cages
Skins from bananas
Get in their pyjamas

Animal Bites II

There are all sorts of words to rhyme with cat
Such as mat and rat and fat and cravat
But I am having a much harder time
Finding words to rhyme with porcupine

Getting bigger!

A year.......

To the muse, wherever fortune finds him..

As the painted butterfly
Lights on the broadest leaf – so –
Wings spread wide – my hope for you
As ever is that you fly freedom-far
You can reach for the stars
So me to you, love, pax.

I am pleased to report that my water butt has refilled itself (since I had to empty the whole thing out because of it's apalling stench) and it is nice clean smelling rain water. This is me tackling it..

..........and fungi of course

I am just having half a bag of minstrels. I bought them for the flight to Edinburgh but I didn't eat them on the flight up there, all the week I was there or on the flight back. And they have been sitting on a shelf on the dresser ever since I got back. I would like to point out that I wouldn't have opened them tonight but my daughter is suffering chocolate withdrawal syndrome and asked me to open them.......honest. I just got in from rehearsal where I was sitting on a wooden stair most of the evening which was quite uncomfortable so I feel the chocolate consumption is perfectly justified.

I starting writing a diary back in 2001 (on computer because I am lazy and spell checker is magnificent for lazy doodahs) partly to record not the really dull everyday trivia of my life - about 96% - but the little mad things that one comes across like the day I was walking home from work and saw a sleeve on the pavement. Just a sleeve, I mean why? And it wasn't really the kind of day for going sleeveless, it was cold and raining. And who goes around ripping their sleeves off willy-nilly anyhow? And why only one? And what about the collar?

Anyway after I started writing a diary all the crazy things disappeared so I'm left with just the everyday trivia.......

Say goodnight to the folks Gracie..

September = case-bursting conkers, plump rosy apples, dewdrop-covered spiders webs, crisp mornings, oh and only 114 days until Christmas! Happy September, people.

I reached out…

I reached out a hand for you today
And found you not there, you’d slipped away
I guess it has to be that way
But not to stay