seems to be 'just being around'

I went back to work after a week off. It was not at all times a fabulous break but it was a break from.....'Josephine can you just show me how to....', 'Josephine, such and such isn't working can you sort it' and 'JOoooooooooooooooooooo HELP'. I sometimes wonder just how they manage to jog along without me.

Consequently I came home feeling completely shell-shocked and with a thumping great headache over my tired eye. So I shall have to limit my time on here tonight.

I did a couple of good deeds today but their value would be lost if I boasted about them but they made me feel warm and snuggly for a bit.

This is the first Halloween that I haven't hollowed out a pumpkin and cut a face in it. That's a bit sad really but my immediate family aren't keen on a pumpkin and I wasn't sure I wanted to come home to a gradually disintegrating pulpy mess of pumpkin for another umpteen weeks. Yeah yeah I know I could scoop it up and chuck in the compost but that is way too organised.

I have to make a decision. Do I go along to an audition on Wednesday or continue 'resting' right through the winter. I said I would not do anything until next year but I do miss the adrenalin rush.

It's such a comlicated week this week what with this and that and everything else.

As a sop to Halloween then, I want you to either give me a trick or a treat. But nothing too nasty, I am much too fluffy!

Ok - so some smiles for you all today...........

1 - Did anyone else know that blue M & M's have cocaine in? My daughter told me this as we were sorting out all the green ones from the rest (for a birthday present for a friend). As you can imagine, handling so much chocolate without gorging was tres difficile! She said it is possible she is mistaken but someone told her and maybe.....there's no smoke without fire!

2 - I had a call the other day from a lady who asked me to supply her with a polystyrene head and a fob watch. I guess that's a bit ordinary and everyday really isn't it?

3 - I bought some new track for my wooden railway set and this gave my sister something to do after dinner today. I know what you're thinking but it's ok because she is younger than me so playing with trains is ok, she's only 37.

My daughter told me she had a dream about Johnny Depp and for a few moments I was a bit envious but then she said that I was there as well and met him too - which was nice!

I made enough stew today for my baby sister to take home a portion for her dinner tomorrow. She's a teacher and gets home late and tired so it made me feel pleased that her day is made slightly easier tomorrow. There was even a leftover dumpling for her. No, no jokes about dumplings thank you. Which reminds of the time I nearly made someone corpse on stage by saying in an aside to him 'I'd like your opinion on my dumplings' - his face was picture.

"Beshrew me, Edmund! You're in good fooling this morning."
- which episode and who said it

Blessings to all bloggers xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ok so this is a little more on the serious side than my ususal lightweight fare but I guess this has been building up for a while!

1) What is more important in a relationship - sex or companionship?

2) Should a church-going christian be more capable of forgiveness or less?

3) How do you make yourself feel something you don't?

4) How long is forever, can it be shortened?

Answers on a matchbox please.............

I am I tell you, pretty darn knacked.

I realise that my last post was rather silly and petulant perhaps. It's my insecurities emerging you see. When I get nervous about stuff I start getting a bit fruitcakey - sorry!

I feel a little blank today so I shan't write long.

I spent all day at a life-drawing class which was good. The thing I like about drawing is that it concentrates the mind so much on what your doing with pencil, or in this case charcoal, that you can't think about anything else whatever. So it's kind of like a mind enema. It's also physically demanding and I nearly dropped off into my fajita - which by the way was very very very hot. So I hope you now have a mental picture of a fruitcake lady covered in charcoal dust falling asleep in a spicy tortilla........

Got that picture..........good! See yerz all later!

Or does it go very quiet in blog world sometimes? If you're all at a party without me, I promise I'll change my deodorant...................or even buy one.

Just caught the tail end of BA with old flash in - "She's got a tongue like an electric eel and she likes the taste of a man's tonsils" - hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

Oooh it's late and I should go sleepies.

Winter woolies

I pull my woolly knickers
Right up to my chin
It might not be attractive
But it keeps the warm air in

I didn't want to post until now because I was waiting for my comments to reach 1000 and if I had put in a post my posts total would have been 141 which would have been a lack of symmetry and that gives Virgo a bad vibe. As it happened I missed the 1000 moment because I got a couple of those spam comments. That does so piss me off - I know, I know, you don't want to hear that from sweet, squishy me but I get cross sometimes when I'm taken advantage of like that. Grrrr.
So my message to you is 'Go away, silly comment leaver or I may have to get my scissors out and we all know what that will lead to'

Anyway, ranty bit out of the way.

I have just popped in from the garden to make myself a nice cup of tea. Actually if I am making it myself it probably won't be the nicest cup of tea. Southerners are rubbish at tea-making - at least that's my hubs opinion! He is from Leeds and I am from Sussex (yeah I know how it goes "Sussex born, Sussex bred, Strong in the arm, Thick in the head", laugh at me why dontcha) so there is a north-south divide in our house. Fortunately my offspring were both born down here!

I had a therapeutic sweeping of leaves session. It's very satisfying to clear the leaves and see the path again. In raking away though I dragged the implement across a frog hiding in the gathered moist leaf litter. It worried me for mo that I had injured him but he hopped off ok so I think he was fine. I didn't pick him up though as I didn't have any gloves on. I don't mind the feel of them at all but I always feel that it is probably quite unpleasant for them with their cold little skins to be picked up by my hot little hands. I love frogs and toads and newts. I know lots of people don't because they think they are slimy but they aren't and they have such intelligent eyes. Did you know that frogs hop but toads walk. I love the way toads walk, they look like they are delicately considering each step. Perhaps they are.

I have now reached 13 Christmas card total, which is not as good as I should have liked really at this stage and I should have started with the Christmas cake already but here I am blogging away like the - is it the cricket that sings all summer and then hasn't got any Chrissie cake when the festivities begin.

But tis time methinks to march to the kitchen and pour me water on me bag..........

..........which one are you quizzes

You are Storm

You are very strong and very protective of those you love. You are in tune with nature and are very concerned with justice and humanity. Unfortunately, certain apprehensions and fears are very hard for you to overcome, and can often inhibit you when most need to be strong.

So which are you.....

Mind you I wouldn't mind being as good-looking as Storm!

Oh poodles and more poodles and yet more poodles (normally at this point I would probably say Oh god, Oh God, Oh God - but as you know I don't like to write things like that on cyber-paper). Actually I did say "Oh god, Oh God, Oh God" the other day when I walked into the kitchen and found a pidgeon on it's back and Sylve giving Katie a tutorial on how to effectively maim your caught birdie. She's definitely the "dumb blonde" of the cat world. I put that in quote marks because blonde's are not in my experience at all dumb!

Any way what was it prompted the outpouring of poodles.

Ah yes - I have done it - I have booked my training - and now of course I feel a completely nervous wreck. Why oh why am I putting myself through all this. It's very tempting at this point in time to return to the mousey little wifey of the past who trailed along in the wake of tall wonderful husband, identity-less and submissive. I can't help feeling that having my own sense of self is going to be wasted if it's splattered all over the road in a big squishy mess.

As you see, I don't have much confidence here. My problem all my adult life!!

And now that I put that all on cyber-paper I feel like a big fat stupid head. That has got to be a quote from something but I can't for the life of me think what it is.

I am in need of a stiff something or other.........

Ok so that wasn't hard - as the actress said to the bishop etc.

Today we went to London but not, as you might suppose, to visit the Queen! We were planning a selection of visits but with one thing and another the day got condensed into a few hours. Girlie and I tackled the Tate Britain to look over the Shedboatshed - wow it looked just like a...a...shed - and the other Turner Prize bits and bottoms. Hubby went to check out the Cabinet Rooms. I am not a city girl at all but all I need is a map. Hubby bought me a map which I promptly lost when leaving the station. He does tend to patronise a little, assuming as he does that I am just a dimwitted woman who gets lost turning round. Ok so I often look lost but then I have that sort of face. Anyhow I managed to navigate the girlie and I to the Tate Britain and then back up the road to Covent Garden without a single wrong turn - woo woo.

We partook of tea and cake (well I had cake, and chocolate cake too!)
on the Balcony of The Royal Opera House which affords a very fine view over Covent Garden to the London Eye - hence photo!

One of the most fascinating sights for me was seeing the people climbing up the ice wall in Ellis-Brigham - I just stood there, mouth open, catching flies. Soo cool. Well of course the ice wall would be cool, dur. Ok so I've lived a sheltered life and I haven't seen anyone climbing up an ice wall before - well not in the flesh so to speak. Ooh that's sounds like they were nudey - they weren't! That would be a bit chilly on the willy!

I didn't get to see all the stuff I wanted to so I might have to pop back up there sometime in November when I only have myself to please. I'm always saying that though.......

Ok, here's fun, where did I go today..........

I should be at dancing - it's cancelled. It's just sooo pooey. I have some energy left over with nowhere to go. The rowing machine beckons methinks. And then a bath possibly. And then I may make some Christmas cards. And then...........

One day I went to work and all morning I kept smelling this smell. I kept smelling it and thinking 'oooh that's nice'. I kept looking over at my colleague thinking 'Hmm nice smell, is it you'. But then I went out of the room and the smell did too. It was me. I had picked my daughters body spray instead of mine.

There is an article in The Independent today entitled Why Men are Crap. Lots of successful women saying what they think men are crap at! This is in retalliation to Gordon Ramsay's little gem about women's lack of prowess in the kitchen of course. It should be pointed out that we don't need prowess in the kitchen when we can do that thing in the bedroom! Anyway I my own personal view is that whatever I cook gets shovelled in regardless of good, bad or indifferent so where's the satisfaction in that. And when I make a bit of effort to cook some nice veggies, plenty because the government says we should, and they are pushed to the side of the plate and left untouched...well you can see why women can't be bothered to cook can't you!

What are men crap at then? Here is my question for you all today.

Girls: what do you think men do least well?
Chaps: what do you do least well? - be honest

I am not anti-men for a moment and I think they definitely have their uses, after all 'you don't keep a dog and bark yourself' as they say.....

A shortened version of a slightly longer poem....

Naked

He sits naked on the edge of the bed
Legs wrapped round each other
Hunched to hide his hated hugeness

And chest hairs, now nine-tenths white,
Gleam where the light catches them
He sits dressed only in his imperfections

Funny things dates aren’t they. I don’t mean the ones you eat because they are more yummy than funny. No I mean calendar dates. Today is my little sister’s birthday and she is 33. This makes her nine years my junior although she has variously been mistaken for either my daughter or my twin sister! I was a nice older sister to both my sisters, generally speaking. Apart from the time when I stood for ages on top of one of them because she was being beastly. Ah and she still brings this up on a regular basis. On the whole I was ok. I managed to save my baby sister’s life on couple of occasions only to see her grow up and be better than me at everything – that is hard for someone as attention seeking as me! And you think I’m joking, ok well slightly tongue-in-cheek.

Some dates are fixed forever in the memory. Like the day my grandmother died. Being the day after my birthday it is not easy to forget but can I remember the anniversary of my first wedding – noooo. Not without looking it up, it was early December and very cold and windy – that I do remember! I can remember the date my old cat died too because it was the date before that of the birthday of a friend who had died a few years before. And why is it that I remember people’s birthday about a week before and then forget again the day before!

Talking of dates there is Hallowe’en looming of course but the biggies is Christmas isn’t it. And this leads me neatly to my next bit of shameless advertising.

http://www.oxfamunwrapped.com/

I am going to have a wish list for it this year and suggest that if anyone really wants to give me a wrapped up present then it could just be a crunchie or something. I have enough ‘stuff’ quite frankly.

Another thing that occurs to me in the rambling doodah that is my mind is why on earth none of the borrowers turned out to be any good at dressing hair. I caught the end of The Borrowers (the film) last night and it struck me that they were all having a collective Bad Hair Day. So why if there are hundreds of them did none of them develop a talent for perming and blow-drying! Do people still have perms and blow-dries by the way. I ask because I only have my thatch cut twice a year and have never really needed a perm, and a blow-dry would be a nightmare.

I just realised I didn’t post yesterday; this is probably because I feel very dull and uninteresting at the moment. LOL that implies that I think I am interesting the rest of the time – not so. Please believe I am not blowing my own thingy at all there.

Oooh must be time for a cuppa……….

The cloud formation today was quite spectacular at times. At one point there were layers of blue and white with fluffs of a soft grey and a couple of brilliant white cotton wool ball clouds floating across the top. If I’d painted it as it was at that moment in time, it wouldn’t look real!

You see how I managed to get back to fluffy there!

I’m afraid I am just about to vent some spleen so if you are easily offended please look away now. Flu jabs. Flu jabs are intended or at least recommended for people in ‘at risk’ categories. That is those over 65 or in a disease group such as diabetes, asthma, IHD, etc. or in residential institutions. Today we had a family of 4/5, parents with 2 or 3 children (can’t remember exact number of children – does it matter!). There was absolutely no medical reason for them to have the jabs - the mother was just obsessed with getting them jabbed because of the avian flu panic. This in spite of being told quite categorically that this jab is not going to protect against avian flu. I simply cannot believe the selfishness of some people. That was 4 or 5 jabs which could have gone to people in genuine need of one – and there are plenty! The youngest child screamed the place down – why put the poor little thing through that unnecessary torture. Spleen fully vented.

Normal service is resumed with this

We have some League of Gentlemen to watch this evening, well the film in fact. The book I just finished reading, by Mark Gatiss, was an excellent read and had echoes of the League’s bizarre bazaar. It has some beautifully surreal moments as well as some very racy moments and was one I enjoyed reading.

Now tell me your star signs everyone.

Oooh it would be nice to be abroad right now. Somewhere warmish would do. I'm not the type to lie on a beach for a couple of weeks though. I can't sit still for long!

This is way too early in the morning for me but I have to help man a flu clnic so I had to get up at this inhuman hour. When I say 'man' a flu clinic I don't just mean men are going to have flu jabs, women will as well. In fact here there are an overabundance of little old ladies to prick. There is something obvious there but it is too early in the morning!

I was blogging around yesterday, as you do, reading and commenting. I try to leave a comment if can but sometimes the things I read leave me thinking and I can't think of sensible commment to leave. That is not to say I always leave sensible comments, far from it. Sometimes reading a post sparks a tangential thought train and I just add my humble moment. This is an open forum where we are more 'ourselves' than anywhere else (I think you said that R) and to watch the comments develop from a post is fascinating because people bring their own slice of perspective to the table. I think that makes it all the more interesting. In our own little niches in life we are not necessarily likely to encounter the breadth and variety we find in this little blog world and that adds new dimensions to our own private thoughts. It can be quite insular sitting at a computer until you start participating in cyber debate.

MD has a post about why bloggers blog, well more or less. I am quite an intelligent person (no boasting here - statement of fact) but impotent in articulation and this old blogging lark helps me to 'see' how people articulate. It is intellectually stimulating. I am also quite lazy and discinclined to stetch myself intellectually but my visits here do manage to stimulate my thought processes, as well inform and educate.

I don't quite know where all that came from, I guess it is frustrating at time to be misinterpreted and it developed from that sense of frustration.

Don't worry folks, fluffy Flora will be back later with the ususal inane drivel! Have a good day all you lovely lovely bloggers and all those that aren't lovely, well you all have a good day too!

Time to find me some socks...

Seven things I want to do:
1. Either learn to drive the ruddy scooter or drive a ruddy car
2. Get published – properly!
3. Grow decent size melons
4. Get good enough at Morris so I know where I’m going
5. Climb a mountain, a steep hill would do it
6. Go to Jamaica
7. Sort my website out

Seven things I can do:
1. The Lotus position – still
2. Destroy, kill and/or maim a rowing machine without trying
3. Make really scrummy chocolate biscuits - and carrot cake
4. Act – don’t believe anyone who tells you different
5. Eat a box of Guylian seashells in two days
6. Flirt – noticed someone said they can’t – well I can and do
7. Grow peas

Seven things I can't do:
1. Drive a car – legally
2. Say 'I love you' unless I mean it
3. Drink more than one unit of alcohol without getting silly
4. Hurt a fly – and boy I tried a few times
5. Concentrate for very long on one thing
6. Live without light
7. Play the violin

Seven things that attract me to the opposite/same sex:
1. Wit - essential
2. Smile – so long as it’s genuine and aimed at me
3. Talking – it’s hard to live without it
4. Kindness – i.e to dumb animals like me
5. Spelling – not magic and wizards stuff
6. Eyes – expressive eyes
7. Hands – masculine

Seven things I say most:
1. Yes (not always a good thing)
2. Oooh
3. I don’t reeeeeally know
4. Oh my wheels and coupling rods
5. Riiiight
6. Uh-huh ( means I thinking about something but trying to sound as though I’m listening)
7. My father knows

Seven celebrity crushes:
1. Colin Firth
2. Meatloaf
3. Johnny Depp
4. Francis Rossi
5. Peter Knight (Steeleye Span)
6. Harrison Ford
7. Bill Bailey

It's Thursday evening in Jojo's household and the cats are sitting gazing into the black night trying to decide how to get their witches cloaks to stay on on Hallowe'en.

It hardly seems possible that it's nearly Hallowe'en already, I feel like we only just had Pancake Day. That may be because we had pancakes for supper tonight. Girlie wanted pancakes, so I obliged.

I must get round to putting the saddle back on my broomstick. Now ok that may sound like I made it up but I do in fact have a broomstick and I do have an old bicycle saddle strapped to it. A friend once told her young daughters that I flew around on it at Hallowe'en. They believed her! - for years!! Children are sooo gullible aren't they.

Here are some nice boots

Oh I thought of this while I sat in the bath this evening..

I wouldn't say I'm pretty, I wouldn't say I'm cute
But I'm really quite appealing when I'm in my birthday suit

I'm not sure what to do next..........

Written a year ago...........

Monday

Soft as down, your skin, like velvet
Freckles like soft brown splashes
Dust your shoulders and arms

Sweet nectar, your words, like honey
Soothing and tender like balm
Lovingly enfold me

I am sitting drinking my coffee and listening to the rain pitter-pattering on the windows, contemplating nature's incredible miracle and trying to decide.............whether or not to have another Wild and Whippy mini.

Ah me the decisions we have to make in life.

I have no formulated plan for the day and there is a danger of sliding into that whole staying-in-dressing-gown-slopping-about thing. I do have one appointment however. Lunch with my mother. Oooh I've just remembered I have a Debenhams gift card - hm maybe a little apres-lunch treat looming!

I see skies of blue - the rain she stops and the day begins to brighten.........

I got a little excited this morning as my new provisional license plopped through the letter box. But then I remembered I have to get on and do something with it - oh flip. Precisely what my tummy did.

Anyhoo, moving swiftly on. Update on dancing. We are only four weeks away from our first real public proper gig. The potential for embarrasing myself in front of hundreds, well dozens possibly, of local people beckons. Why do I do this to myself. I can quite happily get on stage but that's fine because you can't see the whites of their eyes! And I just know I'll be the one going the wrong way. Hey ho - I suppose I could fill up on Baileys first!

Oo oo oo the sun is shining - things look better, mother, father kindly disregard this letter etc.

Reasons to be cheerful

1) Although I don't have enough blister plasters for all the blisters caused by my new boots I did have one for the worst and sorest blister.

2) I am blessed with feet to have blisters on - ok so they are are ugly (as someone once told me - it wasn't much of a chat-up line!) but they work.

3) I have 2x1p's in my pocket which is better than none

.....I have this inexplicable desire to play chess........

Off out for the evening so I leave a little piccie..

What are they? I know of course but does anyone recognise them...

Can you see the eye?

A useful link for you...

Some survival tips.......

I have a really horrid head tonight, "feels like there's a Frenchman living in it".

Biggest laff of the day for me was this exchange at work...

ME : Just a reminder that we have a meeting at lunchtime to discuss the Smoking Cessation Programme
BOSS : Who's the Smoking Cessation lead?
ME : You are
BOSS : Shit

I found a p today. That is I found a 1p not obviously a pea or even a pee. Not that it is unlikely to find a pea or a pee. But I wouldn't have picked up a pea or pee. Well I might have picked up a pea but not from the pavement. Which is where I picked up the p. I have this whole bizarre thing that goes on in my head. If I see a p on the pavement when I am broke I pick it up but don't bother when I'm feeling flush. So in my head at least I feel that just picking up the p is an upper, financially speaking. And that more will follow. It's a crock though because I had a mad moment after work and bought some shoes. Gain = 1p, Spending = £30.

I managed a whole 20 minutes on the rowing machine today in spite of the head with a large heavy ball inside. BUT it has started making hideous noises and I have this foreboding feeling.........

Let's face it I am just the kiss of death to rowing machines. I wouldn't mind if I was large or superstrong but I am pretty average in height, weight, size and strength.

Another useful link for you...

Dancing on Rain Drops

Bare-foot on the concrete
Toes stretching into
The gathering rain river

Raindrops hit my
Upturned palms and
Break like water bombs

Yes what did I do - apart that is from cooking a meal for 8, well probably the highlight was going through a set of fairy lights with my mother trying to find if there was a dud bulb. There wasn't so why the frigging things don't work, goodness only knows.

Listening to this at the moment, not a good choice today!! I am a longtime fan of Steeleye Span, since I was about 9, so that is a long time

The Song Will Remain

If I were a singer I'd sing you a song
A song that would live in your heart forever
I'd sing it lound and strong
Every single word
So that when my life is over
And I never see you again
The singer may die but the song will remain

But if I were a singer I'd sing you a song
A song that would live in your heart forever
I'd sing it lound and strong
Every single word
So that when my life is over
And I never see you again
The singer may die but the song will remain

The tune is hauntingly sad