Witch

Well there it was. My vindication at last. I allowed my children to watch practically anything they liked, within reason of course. I would probably have been slated for letting them watch endless regurgitations of the likes of Carry On films but at last it has been proved of some value. In a game of trivial pursuit my little babe was able to provide the correct answer to ‘Where does tiffin come from?’ and her source was the often viewed Carry On up the Khyber. My maternal pride is mixed with uproarious amusement. It’s still tickling me. So who said I was too laissez-faire!

I was so depressed today, it was grim and dark, the sky was surly and grey, I was feeling very broke and I am at the end of a week’s holiday that has failed to live up my expectations…..and I think I might be getting a cold. Hastings station is not an uplifting place for that mood I can tell you so I am glad to be back home, outside of a G & T and with some interesting munchies inside my tumkin. Instead of a meal we have had a plateful of snacks and dips and it made a nice change. They do some very yummy Moroccan butternut squash parcels in M & S btw.

The correct way to light a match is to strike away from oneself so how, when I was doing it correctly, did I manage to catch my hair alight.

Tablets have now come into the equation (see previous post). I have called for back up, as I’m on my own this morning.

Sylvester regarded the advice of the vet - re going back for a second round while he is covered by antibiotics – as a challenge, and he does like a challenge. He deliberately, it seems to me, went out to look for several of the members of the Black Nemesis Gang from next door so he could slap them across the cheek with his glove. His last fight cost me nearly £70 so I might have to suggest that if he wants to make a habit of this fighting lark he will have to start looking for a part-time job to supplement our income.

I had thought that my staying home for a few days when everyone thought I would be away would be peaceful, this is still my holiday after all and if I was abroad I wouldn’t be able to do this, that and everything else so why shouldn’t I escape my responsibilities for a couple of days. It doesn’t work like that though. If people know I am at home they think I have nothing better to do with my time – I vant to be left alone! Well, at best I don’t want to deal with everyday business. Actually the more I think about it the crosser I feel.

I’d better go get some coffee before this runs into a long grumble.

Ok so I am a bit bored at the moment. I should have been heading north with my family but I have to stay home and mind the cat. It was the devil's own job getting him into the cat basket this morning to go to the vet and I have to take him back tomorrow. His mouth is sore but it hasn't stopped him wolfing down tuna and his sore shoulder didn't stop him putting up the most ridiculous fight about getting into the box. His yowling was deafening all the way, while at the vets and all the way back and he bucks about so much it is hard work carrying him. I am just thankful that so far tablets have not come into the equation.

So finding myself with a whole different game plan for a few days I have mended an old telephone (prop for a play), painted a couple of over-sized dice (prop for a play), cleaned the bathroom (I needed to after painting the dice) and bought myself some essentials for the next couple of days (as I'm not being fed elsewhere).

So I thought I would indulge in one of these to pass a little bit of time...

1) Where did you take your default pic?
I drawed it, scanned it, then abobe photoshopped it.
2) What exactly are you wearing right now?
Jeans, grey hoodie
3) What is your current problem?
I have no problem currently
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Chapter 1:
1) Middle name: Laura
2) Current place: Home, but a good place for a currant is a bun
3) Eye colour: Blue. Both btw.
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Chapter 2:
1) Do you live with your parents?: I haven’t done for more than twenty years
2) Do you get along with your parent(s)?: I do, they’re quite mad so it works
3) Are your parents married/separated/divorced?: Still married – 47 years
4) Do you have any siblings?: I do.
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Chapter 3: Favourite...
1) Ice Cream: Chocolate, with chocolate bits, and chocolate sauce.
2) Season: of mists and mellow fruitfulness
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Chapter 4: Do You..
1) Write on your hand: No, it would be most untidy.
2) Call people back: Hm, if I don’t get sidetracked
3) Believe in love: and it’s many complications, yes.
4) Sleep on a certain side of the bed: I sleep on my side, the other side is occupied
5) Have any bad habits? Quite a few
6) Any mental health issues? I think I am pretty normal, most people think I’m mad.
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Chapter 5: Have You....
1) Broken a bone: One in my foot, just before the run of a play so I had to do it all on crutches
2) Sprained stuff?: More than a dozen times.
3) Got stitches: I had stitches a couple of times, I had two children
4) Taken painkillers?: I would have but the paracetamol
5) Gone SCUBA diving or snorkelling: No, but maybe one day
6) Been stung by a bee? Once or twice, it isn’t nice, I swell up bad, it makes me mad.
7) Thrown up at the dentist: Eugh.
8) Sworn in front of your parents: Oh yes, although not at them….yet.
9) Been sent to the principal's office: Erm, I’m sure a good little person like myself wouldn’t do that!
10) Been expelled? Gracious no.
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Chaper 6: Who/What was the last....
1) Person you called: Sister
2) Person you hugged: My baby
3) Thing you ate: A slice of bread
4) Thing you drank: Cup of tea
5) Time you cried: Last night, in bed, because the cat was hurt
6) Wished on a star: When I was younger and still had hope.

I should be going away for a few days tomorrow but the cat has just come in from the garden spitting blood and limping so I’m not getting over-excited just yet in case tomorrow involves a trip to the vet instead of a trip to the rellies. Life is never straight forward is it?

I have a slight headache in anticipation.

My weight loss plan is going very badly so far. I had to finish off a box of Belgian chocolates that were hanging around and I had to go to a Pampered Chef party. It’s always the same - as soon as I need to cut down suddenly I keep having food thrown at me from all directions. There is a box of fruit in the fridge and a bag of salad and both remain unopened. I need will power – and no, that isn’t willy power.

I suppose the sprint through the rain might have helped a little though!

I think the rain is sapping my energy levels and draining my enthusiasm somewhat or perhaps I am just missing work in this, my last week off for the year 2006. No, I don’t miss work! I need a fillip of some kind really. Fillip was the word of the day on Friday August 8th, 2003 and the definition is…

1. A snap of the finger forced suddenly from the thumb; a smart blow.
2. Something serving to rouse or excite; a stimulus.
3. A trivial addition; an embellishment.

Yes I definitely need something to rouse – not arouse – me. Mind you I’ve needed it all my adult life so I’m not holding my breath. Philip, anyone?

The recurring dream was back again last night, the one where I can’t get packed in time for going somewhere and last night’s dream was only different in that while I was trying to pack I was thinking to myself ‘if only this was one of my recurring dreams but it isn’t, it’s real life’ and then in the morning I woke up and it was a dream after all.

A smell of dank wretchedness rose up in the dining room. We had just laid the table for dinner and were awaiting our dinner guest, the Reverend. We tried various means to combat the odour, oil, a vase of freesias, a scented candle, but it was hard to budge. Ultimately we restrained the smell with the aid of spray perfume. It came all of a sudden and we never did manage to trace the source but it had gone by the time the dinner was ready.

I am not the world’s best cook, Gordon Ramsay would be completely f$$ked out if he had to share kitchen working with me. Mind you I don’t mind that much being f$$ked at – because it simply shows a limited imagination with vocabulary which puts me in a slightly more superior position. So much more imaginative to say farty-fiddly-bum-bum instead! But anyway, back to the kitchen, I was actually rather pleased with the menu yesterday.

Baby bruschettas with goat’s cheese, pear and rosemary, and served with asparagus.
Blackened chicken with sweet potato mash and roasted baby tomatoes
Blueberry and blackberry individual pies served with clotted cream.

All the b’s – I liked the symmetry.

The Reverend gentleman came round to chat about hubby’s ‘calling’ to be a Deacon so I was a little surprised to find hubby drifting off to sleep while I chatted to the vickster about The Da Vinci Code. Sometimes these little fragments of my life take on a surreal quality. Last weekend I went from a genteel tea party with my elderly aunts to a night out on the streets of Hastings watching the bonfire and fireworks amongst a largely drunken rabble. The extremes can be quite exhilarating but it could well explain why I am not entirely sure who I am at times.

Confused of East Sussex.

A - Available: Oooh ….NO
A - Age: 43
A - Annoyance: I can be

B - Best feature: My sense of humour
B - Bike: Pink
B - Birthday: 16 September

C - Crush: Raspberry is nice
C - Car: I don’t drive but if I did, I’d like a wee sporty one
C - Candy: No thanks, chocolate is better

D - Day or night: Yep, either
D - Dream Car: as before
D - Dogs or Cats: cats, for definite

E - Egg nog: Yuck
E - E-mail: I currently have about five

F - Favorite color: Blue
F - Favorite Band: Steeleye Span

G - Gummy Bears or Worms: If they aren’t chocolate….

H - Hair Color: Brown, with gorgeous hints of grey
H - Height: 5' 4
H - Happy: Happy? Yes I remember happy. No, I’ll report it if it happens dear…

I - Instrument: My own trumpet
I - Idol: Billy?

J - Jewellery: At all times a silver chain and a Make Poverty History Band
J - Job: Data Manager
J - Jail: Nope

K - Kids: One of each sort
K - Kickboxing or karate: Nah, not my thing
K - Kindergarten: No, I too old now

L - Longest car ride: The ones when my children felt sick
L - Last kiss? Proper one? Don’t remember

M - Milk Flavour: Plain, or chocolate.
M - Most missed memory: I wish I remember more about my babes being small
M - Movie Last Watched: About a Boy

N - Nickname: Jojo

O - One wish: Peace
O - One regret: Regrets are pointless

P - Part of your appearance you love: I have nice eyes.

Q - Quick or Slow?: Yes either one or t’other. Quick witted but a slow starter

R - Reason to smile: There are many but sunshine and blue sky usually work
R - Reality TV Show: Big Brother but it is shite really

S - Song Last Heard: Gaudete, Steeleye Span

T - Time you woke up: 9.30 am, unbelievably late
T - Time for bed: Soon

U - Unpredictable: On occasion
U - Underwear: Not at the moment

V - Vegetable you hate: Parsnips
V - Vacation spot: Helford River

W- Worst habit: Snacking
W- Where are you going to travel: Peterborough, later in the week

X - X-Ray: Teeth, foot

Y - Yellow: Me? Cowardy, yes a bit…

Z - Zoo Animal: Elephant
Z - Zodiac Sign: Virgo

I have to lose a stone by February. It’s a really bad time to try and do that because I feel Christmas is seriously going to hamper things a bit. I shall just have to cut everything in half I think, half a mince pie, half a box of truffles, half a glass of Baileys. Which would mean of course that I could have twice as much…

Oh, I just realised that I didn’t say why. I have to play a thin alcoholic depressed vicar’s wife. And I’ll have to strap the puppies in as well. Still…it’s a hobby.

A colleague asked for a buttock rub today but I was unable to oblige as I don’t think I have much skill in that department. Although, in different circumstances, with a different colleague…….NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I heard from a friend that I haven’t heard from in a while and I didn’t recognise her voice, it was lovely surprise. Funny thing about voices, I recently had a call from a friend while I was expecting a call from someone else and I simply couldn’t work out whose the voice belonged to because it wasn’t the one I expected.

It’s been an odd week really. Two other friends have passed away within this last week, another reminder of human mortality. A reminder to enjoy life while you have it - so I skipped at work. I haven’t been so bouncy lately, what with the whole autumn thing going on, but I made a bit of an effort today to skip and jump and run about at work. They all think I’m mad so I can get away with it.

I still smell of swimming pool from my lunch hour swim, I wonder why expensive perfume can’t be made to last that long!

I am looking for a person.

A person I can tell my innermost thoughts to.

A person who will not judge me or condemn me for the way I feel.

A person who will not offer advice or counsel, because I am one jump ahead of that already.

A person who will neither be over-sympathetic nor unsympathetic.

A person who is intelligent and neutral.

A person from whom I need hold nothing back.

It’s damn tricky finding all these things in one person. There are a handful of people in my life who fulfil most of the criteria but none that fits them all.

Perhaps it would be best to climb to the top of a hill and shout how I feel to the wind.

Liberate. Unburden. Free.

Oh this time of night is a terrible time for deep thought. I should be taking my friend’s advice to ‘stop f**king well thinking’ but I was never one for following good advice.

I do feel I am a little fragile today though because a) I didn’t sleep much, b) I had to visit the dentist for a filling, which inevitably leads to c) my eating habits being all over the place, d) it is autumn and the nights are drawing in, e) I have loads of stuff going on and f) for Freddie.

On the up side however, I am a) healthy, b) fed, c) clothed, d) warm, e) fortunate and f) able to perform the Lotus position still, at 43.

Tomorrow I really should look at my sheep shapes and make another couple of tassels.

I’m gonna squash that flan right out of my pear, or words to that effect.

Please note it is a long way yet from finished....

Just another average day I guess.

I made a gravestone and did some more work on the tree in the toilet.

As you do.

It’s what days off are for.

I find this going to work every other day very strange but very nice. It is rather new still though and I can’t seem to concentrate on anything else much.

I think I need to draw myself a little mind map. I have a few minutes before Morris dancing.

doodle

There is so much apathy about these days. I belong to several groups that are very much affected by apathy. I hope it isn’t me that’s causing it.

It’s worrying me now that I am the common denominator here.

I find that there are usually a handful of people who give 100% commitment to things but not everyone’s lives are so simple. It causes grumbles and frustration that affects those who are out trying to enjoy themselves. It can’t be helped though, you can’t make people attend.

Ah - sad.

I just want to enjoy myself when I go out.

My dancing legs are very tired but worst of all tonight was that my dancing partner hit sticks so hard it broke the ring on my finger. Snapped in four places and tinkled to the ground. Pretty neat really! I shall miss the ring, I don’t really go in much for jewellery and this was a rare exception. It wasn’t expensive, it cost 20p. It wasn’t given to me by anyone special, I bought it myself. It wasn’t a thing of great beauty either; it was just a solid black band. It was the fact that it was plain and black that I liked it because it contrasted with my white wristband on the opposite hand. A symbol of the black and white that life isn’t and I could look and them and think that life is shades of grey. It had meaning for me. I might have to look for another one.

Where do the weekends go? No, seriously, where do they go? I keep on losing them; possibly they get down the back of the settee with all the pens, sweetie wrappers and five pence pieces. Stick a hand down the crack of the settee and I am quite sure it will pull out a couple of leaky pens, three teaspoons, an odd assortment of coin adding up to 17p and a farthing, a chocolate wrapper with a scandalous amount of wasted crumbs, and several weekends.

A very exhausting day yesterday. A day of Morrising followed by an evening of ten pin bowling has left me aching in a few muscles I didn’t know existed. It has meant I have had to rest up today – well it seemed like a good excuse. But that has used up the whole weekend. No hint of a shopping spree either. And it is only 78 shopping days until Crimbo. I haven’t bought a single present yet and the clock is ticking.

What cracking weather though, two gloriously golden autumn days. Mushrooms and conkers and spiders and pretty colours. I like autumn when it’s like this. I don’t like the rainy and windy bit. A word of warning about rain protection now. If you find yourself near B & Q about 15 minutes from work, persisting down and blowing a gale and the end of the lunch hour think very carefully about being clever and buying a polythene dust sheet for just £1.98 to use as a kind of cover all to get back to work without getting a total drenching. In theory it seemed like a good idea. But there is a whole lot of polythene in a dust sheet and if you add wind to it……………

Another chance for me to demonstrate the fact that I deserve a significant place in The One Hundred Daftest Moments.

Aphrodite, in a nightie,
Oops, bent over – what a sightie

No idea where that came from at all.

I had a dream last night that a friend gave me a highly decorative little stickie notes pad in the shape of a heart but it was about the size of a pea. Now please tell me why I am dreaming of stickie notes at all, let alone ones I couldn’t possibly write on.

I am thinking of changing my middle name to Ultra-Stessed which would give me the initials J.U.S.T. I’m not really that stressed but I find I get a little over-whelmed when engagements start piling up in front of me like a great big mountain and I can’t actually see where the next segment of ‘being-at-home-doing-sod-all’ is. But then when I have reached that Nirvana state I just don’t know what to do with myself and I end up getting bored and frustrated. I am a muddle.

I met a friend for lunch last week and we chatted over-long about the psychology of relationships (well that sums it up in a nutshell sort of). She told me I think too much, ‘stop f***ing well thinking’ was her best advice and she is right. I just don’t know how to un-analyse. I think probably that the rabbit working the controls in my head has mixed up me toasties.

Today I go to dance, to flaunt my inadequacy in public, noisily, with bells on. That should mean I won’t be able to hear myself think.

Sylvester is sitting looking out of the window in the back bedroom. He is assessing the situation. He doesn’t have a lot of time for rain because it curtails his surveillance activities and limits his chances of maiming and murdering small animals. I suspect the F word has meandered through his cat brain more than once this morning. Katie on the other hand has crashed out on the settee downstairs oblivious to the precipitation and I think possibly a different F word is strolling casually through her cat dreams i.e. a scaly, watery and very tasty F word.

I’m with Sylvester on this one. Rain is limiting my activities and the F word has meandered through my mind a few times. There’s no ……. chocolate in the house and I’ll get ……. wet if I go to the shop. I will have to go out at some point anyway because there is sod all for lunch. On second thoughts I am skint so I may have to rummage around in the fridge for a scrap of cheese and have it with a few dry biscuits.

The rain brings on a whole store of self-pity, in addition to making my limbs feel like lead weights. And it’s autumn rain which is dark and dismal and smells of damp and decay. There are a lot of gloomy words that begin with D like dreary, dire and, of course, death. When D was handed his list of vocabulary words to be in charge of he probably thought ‘oh great it’s all doom and despair’.

I think it’s time to lie down on the carpet and sing sad songs into the pile.

No it b….y well isn’t, its time to get the hoover out and terrorise the cats….

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Sliced ham, tomato, watercress and home-made apple and pear chutney
Falafel with baby spinach and parsley mayo
Tuna and sweetcorn
Brie and cranberry

Lemon and poppy seed loaf cake

What I like about doing lunch once a month for our management meetings is experimenting with fillings. I actually regard it as a bit of a treat. It isn’t quite the same making a sandwich lunch for just three people as the scope is that bit more limited.

I was quite pleased with the lunch yesterday. The bread was nice and the fillings looked fresh and pretty. Good bread makes all the difference. A sad loaf can ruin a lunch.

We only really lunch together as a family at the weekends and the girlie tends to lead the preparations then because she is an organiser. Like my mother. I have gone from being ‘organised’ by my mother to being ‘organised’ by my daughter. I am quite happy with the situation because it leaves me free to do my thing. Each to his/her own. Live and let live. Fly…..and let someone else do the groundwork!