Where do the weekends go? No, seriously, where do they go? I keep on losing them; possibly they get down the back of the settee with all the pens, sweetie wrappers and five pence pieces. Stick a hand down the crack of the settee and I am quite sure it will pull out a couple of leaky pens, three teaspoons, an odd assortment of coin adding up to 17p and a farthing, a chocolate wrapper with a scandalous amount of wasted crumbs, and several weekends.

A very exhausting day yesterday. A day of Morrising followed by an evening of ten pin bowling has left me aching in a few muscles I didn’t know existed. It has meant I have had to rest up today – well it seemed like a good excuse. But that has used up the whole weekend. No hint of a shopping spree either. And it is only 78 shopping days until Crimbo. I haven’t bought a single present yet and the clock is ticking.

What cracking weather though, two gloriously golden autumn days. Mushrooms and conkers and spiders and pretty colours. I like autumn when it’s like this. I don’t like the rainy and windy bit. A word of warning about rain protection now. If you find yourself near B & Q about 15 minutes from work, persisting down and blowing a gale and the end of the lunch hour think very carefully about being clever and buying a polythene dust sheet for just £1.98 to use as a kind of cover all to get back to work without getting a total drenching. In theory it seemed like a good idea. But there is a whole lot of polythene in a dust sheet and if you add wind to it……………

Another chance for me to demonstrate the fact that I deserve a significant place in The One Hundred Daftest Moments.