Oops – looks like I just left the building for a while but here I am again.
I feel like a bottle of lemonade that has been opened, half-drunk and left in the fridge a couple of days - a bit flat, rather cold and not at all appealing. I am lacking my usual bubbles and sparkles – don’t know why but perhaps a combination of Christmas, PMT and low light levels. In fact a lot of people I have spoken to recently have said they have felt a bit flat this year – and they can’t all have PMT. Well the men might of course. I know it has not been a brilliant year for many but I can’t use that as an excuse because although it hasn’t been amazing or astounding or anything it also hasn’t been bad either.
The relentless moving of the finger that writes on the pages of life’s book, yes that’s the rub. Having no small children in the family now means we can no longer appreciate it through the eyes of the little people with all the magic and fairy dust. That said my girlie even at 18 manages to get as excited as a much smaller version of her used to do so all is not lost – she is the bright sparkly thing that sweeps us all through the festive gloom!
Oh dear I sound so maudlin but I don’t feel sad particularly – just not bouncily happy either I guess. Just a wee bit nothing at the moment.
I have tried to keep writing list s of all the fun things in prospect for the coming year, holidays and driving lessons……..and a new kitchen. It sounds exciting doesn’t it but it isn’t, it’s keeping me awake at nights trying to create the ideal kitchen and I can’t get it right. I lie there turning over and over, not tossing much but lot’s of turning, and I keep moving the cooker and the fridge and the sink around in my head until they are all whirling in ever increasing circles.
It’s all too much!
2007-12-28 @ 21:12