I was offered a shopping trip at the weekend with the chance to load up my wardrobe. However I failed to take full advantage of the offer, I got a preserving pan, a thermometer and a new table cover for the kitchen table. All the Christmas stodge is still a heavy presence in my life, mostly tucked in behind my waistband, so buying clothes is not the joy that it could be so I went for a more domestic theme. I have been wanting a preserving pan for many months. I had a huge array of rose hips last year that I wanted make into jelly which is what started the thought rolling.

I had to make a batch of chutney the next day after I got my pan and as I didn’t really have much in the way of garden produce – it being winter and there being little apart from dead stalks in my garden – I used up some leftovers. A couple of almost-manky onions, some cooking apples I forgot I had and a whole bunch of dried fruit left over from the Christmas bake-out. The girlie had bought two big bags of dried cranberries and I never thought I would shift the second bag but, hey, it went in the chutney, problem sorted. It was very satisfactory chutney.

In so few ways am I cut out to be an ordained minister’s wife but I can maybe contribute some preserves!

We arrived at mother’s on Sunday evening, let ourselves in with the key and were immediately transfixed by a bleeping - an insistent and persistent bleeping. We probed around for a stray mobile or something, in vain. It was in fact a toy mouse that was hidden away in the under-stairs cupboard, one of those that makes a high pitched squeak when tossed or teased, which had got stuck in squeak mode and they couldn’t turn it off. After whacking it few times someone had the bright idea of wedging some card into it to interrupt the circuit. It worked

It’s the sort of thing that could drive one to the brink of insanity. We used to have a carbon monoxide monitor of a similarly mind-destroying disposition. Some accident had befallen it and it blipped. And blipped. And blipped. Some minutes between blips obviously just to crank up the irritation factor. It had to be put out in the utility room. We could still hear it. It went out to the shed and in the summer it made it’s presence felt out there in the garden. It went out to the garage. We could still hear it. I tried a hammer, it didn’t work. I don’t remember what happened to it in the end; I think it might have gone to the tip….where it is probably continuing its mission.